When I was ten I used to take my time and carefully lick the cheese off of each individual slice of pepperoni on my pizza and then set it on the furthest edge of my plate.
I didn't like pepperoni, but I was not about to waste all that cheesy slightly saucy goodness.
My older sister loved pepperoni and would ask me for my pile.
I gladly obliged and watched her eat each slice. One. By. One.
This happened for years.
She had no idea.
When I was in high school I LOVED my little sister's blue and yellow Nike warm up sweats. So did she. They rarely left her body, but when they did I would ask to borrow them. Too often she said no.
I had no choice, but to take the pants whenever the chance presented itself.
I wore them to volleyball practice. I jumped and dove and ran and played in them. I came home dripping in sweat and quickly removed the pants so she would not see that I had taken them.
Steam and the fresh scent of Dial poured from the bathroom as she emerged fresh and clean from her shower...wearing the blue and yellow Nike warm up pants I had on just minutes before. Sweaty. And gross.
She had no idea.
In college I came home to a family dinner. We reminisced and laughed about the "rough times" of our childhood. How Mom would save money on water by giving three kids baths at different times in the same water.
Baby would take her bath first. Soap up. Get out. Dry off. PJ's on.
Then Smart Ass would have his turn. Maybe turn on the hot water for just a minute to warm up what was left of Baby's bath. Soap up. Get out. Dry off. PJ's on.
Then it would be my turn. Again with the warm up of the old water. Soap up. Get out. Dry off. PJ's on.
We laughed about how gross it would be to take a bath in someone elses bath water.
And then I confessed.
I confessed that every once in awhile...if I reeaaaallly had to go...I'd just pee right there in the tub.
Everyone laughed and icked at my confession.
And then another confession...
Baby laughed and said he peed too. All the time.
Everyone laughed and icked at her confession, except for me. I just kind of stared as I slowly realized what that meant.
And then another confession....
Smart Ass looked slightly disturbed and then met me square in the eye and said he peed too. All the time.
Everyone laughed and icked again at his confession, except for me. I just kind of stared and dry heaved a bit as I realized I spent years of my childhood taking baths filled with my brother and sister's urine.
I had no idea.
Monday, September 14, 2009
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74 comments:
Lol. You poor thing! You know I hear revenge is sweet...
Oh. My. God.
That has to be the most funnily disturbing post I have seen in a loooong time! Lmfao.
Thank you for the much needed laugh!
Great post! And what a beautiful family!
We used to share the bath and pee at the same time. All four of us...
LOL!!! too funny :)
My kids share the bath water too, youngest to oldest...I tell them NOT to pee but someone always does. blah
That was "pee-autiful!"
Oh, gag!! Ignorance is bliss, huh?
Ha ha ha nice! :)
lol yeah gross but probably so true
Oh. My. God! That is sooo funny!!
haha... that is hilarious!!!
You know, they say confession is good for the soul...
It was better when you didn't know wasn't it....very funny.
I think that knowing everything is totally over rated! hahaha. Poor you. :(
But you turned out just fine.. Maybe we should all bath in pee water as children?? Or did I? OMG. hahaha!
-->Oh I cringed for you and just appreciated for the first time ever that my brother and sister are SO much older than me we never had to do that as kids.
http://www.websavymom.com
That is hilarious! Great looking family!!
Our childhoods are remarkably similar! My mom would do the same thing and we never thought anything of it. Nowadays I'd die before sharing bathwater with someone. And the pee thing.... guilty. :-0
now THAT is just plain awesome! great story.
haaaaaaaaaaaa, what a great post! seeeick, but I still loved it
Oh my gosh! SO SO SO funny! And disgusting. My Mom made us take baths in the same water too. Was water really expensive back then?
yucky. Must go call brothers and demand confessions.
Very funny, and gross. Now the question is do you give your kids a bath all in the same water? I do. Last night Bud pee'd right there in the water. I let it out before Baby Girl climbed in and I filled the tub back up. Most night I'm too lazy though and I just act like I didn't see him do it. I mean, it is just a little pee to like gallons of water. How big of a difference could that make?
My kids love to take what they call a "Mommy bath." The two younger ones still ask for Mommy baths, which consist of me stopping the drain during my shower, and the kids jumping in once I'm done. They like the fact that it's nice and full. So basically, they bathe in my dirty water. I promise I don't pee in my mommy baths, though, and I'm typically much cleaner on a daily basis than my kids are.
PS--I love the pepperoni story. I'll keep that in mind if we ever eat pizza together.
Ha, ha that is funny. I stopped taking baths with my sister when she pooped in the tub. It took me years to even trust going into a pool with her! (probably revenge for cutting off her she-ra dolls head. Hmrph)
BTW, you and your sister are beautiful! OMG!!
Queen of Feisty
And to all of this I say: SOmetimes it's better not to know!!
Laughing hysterically...
That's so gross!!
LOL - thanks for a Monday morning giggle.
Ewww, ewww, ewwww, ewwww! To all of it!
I don't wanna know the secrets of my siblings! Ever.
Oh, how funny!!!! I guess thats what you get for the pepperoni and sweat pants incidents!
That reminds me...I stayed with a babysitter one time that told me to take a bath and leave the water in there for her when I was finished. She then told me "Do not pee in the water!" Well I wouldn't have even thought about it until she said it. I remember being in the tub thinking how dare she think I would pee in the bath water. So guess what? I did it!!!
LOL! That was just the funniest post! Yes, it is scary all the things you find out that happened as a child :)
I bathe the triplets together every time. I can guarantee you that one pees every time. Sometimes they just stand there and pee into the bath, other times they're sitting so I know it's hidden but I know it's there. At least urine is sterile! Think of how many people pee in pools!
That is disgusting and hilarious at the same time!
eeewwww grooooooossss
That is awful, you poor thing. I think my daughter has been secretly reading your blog, that's what she does with her pizza- except then she eats the topping off and leaves the rest! And she's 9!
Urine is sterile. Better pee than some OTHER bodily function.
Hallie
No wonder you were such a dirt ball in high school, you bathed in dirt all your life. Never knew the feeling of being truly clean. Gross.
So gross. Who didn't peee in the tub when they were little. You want to know something nasty, I had to stop letting my son take a bath, he'd pee in the bath water then use his cup he had to play with and pour the pee water over his face with his mouth open. Kids shouldn't be allowed to take baths, cause that's just nasty. LOL
Haha!!! I've had the shared bath water conversation before. So gross and yet--we never realized!
I don't like pepperoni either and I always pick mine off and give it to my husband or a friend. I do, however like TURKEY pepperoni. Yum!
My sister used to ALWAYS steal my clothes! She'd wear them to school (we are 4 years apart and never went to the same school at the same time), beat me home, and hang it all back up in my closet. We used to talk about opening up a boutique called "My Sister's Closet" since that was her answer any time a friend asked her where she got what she was wearing, lol.
ha ha, thats hilarious!
It's only funny when it's not happening to you.
ugghhhh!! no!! that's just foul! but at the same time HILARIOUS!!
not gonna lie.. but ewww. my sister and I use to bathe together.. but we had a rule about peeing! poor kat :(
Wow... that's gross. But you turned out ok, I'm guessing (and hoping). A little pee water never hurt nobody.
My girls do 'spit' takes in the bath tub. I warned them not to pee ... I have to show them this!
I just stopped eating my lunch. Thanks!
You do know that you brought this on yourself, right?
I will be laughing about this for an hour. You poor thing..but...well...you had no idea!!!!!!!
and yet it sickens me being the youngest of three and probably dipped in urine bath many a time myself. UGH.
TOO funny MK...
And thank god you had no idea - I'm skeeved just thinking about it and it wasn't me. *gag*
Not that I recommend bathing in or consuming urine but it is sterile when it comes out of your body. It only gets dirty when things get up in there.
No. freakin. way.
Ewwwww! You know you've got to take your revenge on those two now!
ha ha ha ha HA
what you dont know... you might be better off not knowing!
Man, that's what family's all about!
I used to do the same thing with pepperoni. And basically anything else I picked off of anything, down to the molecule. I fight the urge now, as I try to control the old OCD monster.
I think anyone who's gone to a public swimming pool is immune to soaking up the diluted pee of other people. Strangers, even, not family. You should have felt honored.
In fact, in some really gross cultures, it's considered the highest compliment.
Hilarious. all of it.
lol
Hahahahaaha! Karma can be a bitch, even when you're a kid, can't it? ROFL :)
That is so funny. I totally remember when my sister and I took baths when we were younger and she used to pee too. Great post, brought back some funny moments.
Yuck. Well they say that urine is sanitary. Still...
Beats having a bath with your brother when you were really little and he pooped in the tub. That is when you stand on the edge screaming.
Whoo...that is UNnnnnn-fortunate.
That is disgusting. Especially for you. But perhaps the pee had some beautifying effects because all three of you are GORGEOUS!
EWWWW!!! I can't even imagine the confessions my younger sister will finally spill to me someday....dear god.
hahah! ewww. :)
I LOVE this. It's disgusting, of course. But it's also what it's all about.
Not pee...but family...and laughter, that too...that's good stuff.
So ummmm how did she miss out on noticing that you were licking the pepperoni? The bath water though? yeah... ick. You win!
Gross! Hehe...I have six younger siblings though, and they have no idea some of the things I've done. Vise versa, I'm sure! ;)
TOO FUNNY!! Thanks for the laugh!
Well, it sounds like you all came out sort of even...
That was 2 funny.
That is hilarious and so very disgusting!
Thanks for the laugh...I think of you every time I eat pepperoni :-) and sharing the tub water - precisely why my babies get fresh new water for each of their baths - again, always think of that story with you Smart Ass and Baby.
This is by far your most hilarious post to date. LOVED it!
ROFL!!!!!!!!!! that is so disgusting
Well, I hate to say this but I think you deserved it after the other stuff. And I've heard that once you bathe in urine, you'll always have a slight urine smell around you. Just sayin.
This post was hilarious....family get-togethers must be so entertaining!
You are so funny. Although, I think I threw up in my mouth a little. LMAO!!!
eeeew lolol but what an utterly fab post!
my mom used to do that to me too - I would beg to get in the tub with her and she would never let me - she would shave her legs and get out and then let me get in - SICK!!!!!!
To this day - I NEVER do that to my kids for that reason!!!!!!!!!
ewwwwwwwww
LOL I was an only child up to 14. I still have to think hard if I will go get a new clean towle of use the man's
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